Murder Me, Why don't you?
by silver rosebud
Summary: Sassy, sarcastic, and slightly paranoid orphan girl? Yes. Annoying companion? Of course. Total Insanity? HECK YEAH! Rated T cause of murder and Lexi-I mean, Alex's unorthodox ways of getting revenge.
1. preview

**New story time my friends. I do not own pokémon in any way. **

**This is the story of a teenager from Hoenn, so it will be in her point of view most of the time**

…

…

… What? Are you expecting me to start my tale with 'Once upon a time', like all the others?

I'm sorry to disappoint you, but this is not that kind of story.

I AM NOT a damsel in distress

I AM NOT a beautiful slave that is positive 99% of the time

I AM NOT a lost princess

I DO NOT meet my Prince Charming

I DO NOT get rescued by Prince Charming

I DO NOT get married to Prince Charming and live happily ever after in an enchanted sugar castle with twenty servants doing everything I ask.

You want me to describe myself? Just so you can get a picture of what I look like?

… Stalker

But since you asked, I will tell you… some other time when it is more handy for the both of us.

Are you enjoying this yet? Good, it is nice to know how much my misery amuses people.

You want to know what happened to me? You want to know why I am so miserable? You want to comfort me and tell me that everything is alright and that I should take some anti-depressants to help me get over it?

Then I assume that you are a creepy therapist with an overload of sympathy for my story.

Which I haven't told you about yet.

I knew there were stalkers.

You still want to know my story, don't you? Let me give you an idea of what it is about, cause I don't trust you guys yet, cause I KNOW some of you are stalkers. And I have the police on speed dial.

Here is what you should expect from this story:

Plotted murder. Orphan kid (guess who THAT is). Discovery. Revenge. Kidnapping. Me kicking two organizations butts at once.

Sound fun? I'm glad you totally decided to underestimate my sorrowful and scarred life.

… You wonder who I am? I am Alexandria Kate Koldan. And I could kick your butt across the region if you decide to stalk me.


	2. Chapter 1

**Heya! I don't own pokémon. HA!**

**T*H*I*S*IS*A*L*I*N*E*B*R*E*A*K***

_Note: This is part of her past. Alexandria, or Alex for short, is narrating._

I wasn't always like this you know.

Back, about nine years ago, I was the sweetest girl in Lilycove City. I made friends with nearly everyone. My parents had great jobs; we lived in a big house, and had money to spend/store away for later.

Then one day, some weird men, all dressed in weird red and grey uniforms, came along.

They tried to convince my parents to join them, but mom and dad refused.

A few days later, I was playing with my favorite doll, Tulip, while my parents were discussing something I don't remember, when it happened.

Someone started banging on the door like a madman.

My dad walked to the door and peered through the peephole to see who it was.

"It's those Magma guys again." He said, obviously peeved because of there arrival

"Alexandria, hide. We don't want you to get into this." My mom said quickly.

I hid in the toy cabinet, which didn't really have anything in it at the time.

"You two, we are giving you one last chance. Join Team Magma!" Someone, a male, said with anger in his voice.

"We told you, no! We have a right to do…"

_Bang Bang Bang_

The man didn't like their answer. I couldn't understand or see what was going on at the time, but I knew it was very bad.

I heard a door slam several seconds later.

I waited for five minutes

And then I waited for ten minutes

And then I waited for fifteen minutes

I was really frightened then. Mom and Dad knew I was in there, but no one came. Then I heard the door being opened and some footsteps heading in my direction.

"Two people, both dead. Both died from gun wounds." A male voice was saying.

"Anyone could see that, Sherlock." A younger female voice said sarcastically.

"I wonder if the criminals hid the weapons…" The male one said, and opened the door to the toy cabinet.

The one I was in

When he saw me, he jumped a bit back. I took advantage of this and shut the door.

Unfortunately for me, he opened it again.

Those two people, who were police officers, took me to the station and had me explain as much as I could.

I was then shoved into the stupid foster care system, being tossed around like a hot potato. I really hated the 19th 'home' I went to, because the woman used me like a slave, making me scrub the house, do the laundry, fix everything that was broken, yada yada. She didn't care that I was freaking six or had my parents murdered a year before. She also tossed away Tulip before she got rid of me.

Man, my life is the worst.

**Okay, that is it! Here is something to keep you guessing (or not) for several chapters! A pokémon that will join Alex's team is hidden in this chapter.**

**Note: I'm starting to think I should just delete my account. I'm mad now cause of a stupid review on another story I made. I deleted the story cause I was so friggin' upset**


	3. Chapter 2

**I don't own pokémon. Cause if I did… you don't want to know what I would do.**

Alex's POV

I just moved to some stupid new house in Littleroot Town. I mean seriously, I get stuck in one of the most boring towns possible on my 13th birthday.

Yeah, it is my birthday. Big whoop.

At least I don't have school for another week. I really wish that I could be a trainer so I could get away from school forever.

But I also wished I would have a happy life before my parents were murdered.

"I'm going for a walk!" I shout from the door. I mean seriously, what else can I do?

"Don't get lost." My foster mother shouts from the television. She is only watching it because her husband was on it.

Did I mention he is the Petalburg Gymleader? I didn't? Well, now you know, so there.

I decided to go through Route 101, cause I didn't want to see anyone.

"HELP MEE!" a voice screams. I whip my head around, seeing some 40-something dude running from a Poochyena.

"YOU! OVER THERE! THERE'S POKÉMON IN THAT BAG! HELP!"

I walk over to the bag like nothing was going on. I open the bag and four pokéballs spill out.

I pick the fourth one. Because seriously, I wouldn't pick the first because that would be like that super annoying girl that went to my old school, her name was Mary Sue or something.

I just toss it to the ground, making the thing pop open, revealing a Surskit.

"Uh, hey Surskit, can you use Bubble on the Poochyena?" I say. The Surskit opens its mouth and blows, like, 10 or 12 bubbles out of its mouth. It hits the Poochyena, who finally noticed use, and directed its attacks on us instead.

"Dodge that Tackle Surskit." I yelled, getting a little excited. Surskit jumped in time… and landed on the Poochyena's head, knocking it out.

That wasn't how I expected my first battle to go, but who gives a chizz?

"Woo, thanks for saving me there, that thing was wild." The old dude said in a tone that made me remember he was there. "I'm Professor Birch."

Wait

Professor Birch?

THE Professor Birch?

The Professor Birch that hands out pokémon to any kid that wants one so they can get out of school?

"Oh, I'm Alex" I say like it's no big deal.

"Nice to meet you Alex. Say, why don't we exchange email addresses?"

Yeah, cause it's SO normal for a 40-something dude to ask for a teenage girl's email. I mean, I could be in serious trouble if I accept a stranger's number. I could be grounded until they ship me to another foster home.

Wait

I don't care

I swap addresses with him "You might want Surskit's pokéball back" I hand it over to the professor.

I run back home after that. I mean, seriously, my first battle. I thought it would be epic, something to be proud of.

Instead, I saved a dude being chased by a tiny dog-thing.

I flop onto my bed and pull out my favourite thing, my laptop.

I begin searching for something not boring. Like that website with all those riddles. That's fun.

I begin to type the link when a message pops up saying I got email. I click on it, cause if it's a scam, I have a plan. Seriously, you don't think I know my way around computers? Wait, you know that already?

Stalker-licious much?

It was from Professor Birch, and the simple words he typed changed my life.

_Meet me at my lab tomorrow morning._

**Yay. So… review!**


	4. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I don't own Pokémon. I doubt you own it, either.**

Alex's POV

When I woke up this morning, I had fallen out of bed. Maybe that's why I didn't remember for five minutes that I had to see Professor Birch.

So, I quickly changed into yoga pants and a red t-shirt before running out of my room.

"Bye, Marilyn!" I yell to my foster mom, right before she grabbed my shoulder.

"Where are you going Alex?" She asked.

"To see Professor Birch, he emailed me last night."

This seemed to make her remember something, because she let go and had a nostalgic look on her face.

Then Marilyn smiled, "I see. Well, good luck!"

Did she know something about this? I start walking the short distance towards the lab. Knocking on the door, I expect the worst.

A man in a lab coat, an assistant I assume, opens it and I walk in.

"Alex!"

I face Birch now, his grin nearly contagious. Nearly being the key word.

"Uh, sorry to be so impatient," Not really, "but why am I here?"

Birch grabs my arm and drags me to a table with a shrunken pokeball on top of it.

"You see Alex, on occasion; I hand out pokémon to deserving young trainers."

Oh boy

"However, the three starter pokémon used for trainers in Hoenn have already been set aside for the trainers coming next week."

Now I feel disappointed. I can't get a Mudkip, or Torchic, or even a Treecko?

"But I feel that you would do much better with that Surskit you used. So…" He pauses for drama, "In recognition of your bravery, I present you with this Surskit."

Rather shocked about this as he drops the pokeball into my palm, I don't realize what he is saying until a few seconds later.

"… give a nickname to pokémon they got. Do you want to stick with Surskit, or give it a name of your choice?"

"Uhhh…"

"You might want to send it out first, though. Some pokémon want to be a part of this name choosing."

Releasing the Surskit, I kneel down to its level.

"Is it a boy or a girl?" I question

"Girl" He says, and I brainstorm names.

"Spring?" Surskit shakes her… head… symbolizing no.

"Honeysuckle?" Another no

"How about Oasis?"

Surskit nods (I think) in affirmation. I smile slightly at this, it is just so cute. Or, at least I think she's cute. I don't know or care about what others think about my pond skater.

"Oasis it is then." I try to return her to the pokeball, but she dodges it, jumps up and latches to my head.

Professor Birch laughs at this, "I think she would prefer to stay outside of her pokeball. Lots of pokémon do, although they usually walk, fly or sit on their trainer's shoulder."

I smirk. Good, now we are unique.

"Anyways, you'll probably need these for later." Birch hands me a container with five empty pokeballs and several pieces of paper, "You will need to fill out those forms if you plan on participating in the League, or contests."

I nod, "Anything else?"

Birch turns away, "Tell your foster family before you leave. They might get worried if you disappeared all of a sudden."

Running to the door, I yell, "Thank you Professor Birch!" before practically flying my way back home, ditching my cold persona for just a minute.

I didn't have to tell Marilyn about the situation at all, she seemed to know all about it by the way she continuously babbled.

"Professor Birch always does nice things like this to deserving kids. Every child that leaves here is always ecstatic about going on a journey full of wonder and excitement. I remember mine so well, even though it was short-lived…" she hands me a backpack at this point. A rather large backpack.

"I've already packed some stuff for you, Alex. Flashlight, sleeping bag, matches, a map, pens, and some dried fruit and beef jerky. Although I'll leave clothing up to you, since I can't tell what you like!"

Twenty minutes later, I have my toiletries packed in along with six outfits that I wouldn't mind falling down in. Although I would like to sustain from falling flat on my face in the middle of the woods, thank you very much.

After a quick talk from Marilyn about how I have to update her about my journey every few days or so, I happily leave the house to go to Route 101.


	5. Chapter 4

**Yeah, I can't update to save my life.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Pokémon. **

The problems with Route 101 are minimal for most people. It is a straight path with some tall grass and ledges, no big deal.

Of course, I am not most people.

For starters, Oasis decided it would be fun to talk a shortcut through the trees. This ended up as a 50 minute chase through a forest without any paths.

I had not anticipated such a lovely and close-up nature walk, so I was dressed in a baggy t-shirt and yoga pants. Both of which seemed to easily be caught on the multiple tree branches that so conveniently seemed to grow at both foot and face level.

By the time I got to Oldale Town, I was scratched, bruised and had a pond skater attached to my skull. Not like being scratched or bruised was anything new.

I all but sprinted to the Pokémon Center. By that point, I was pretty exhausted and was ready to collapse onto one of the couches in the waiting area. Of course, when I got there, several of the nurses fussed over me and took me to the small emergency room that was recently installed. A few other trainers were there, most of them looked tougher than me, getting stitches or bruises checked.

But one person caught my eye.

It was a boy, about the same age as me, maybe a year older. He was also a few inches shorter than me (Most guys were at that point. I was quite an early bloomer.) His face, hair, and eyes were something that I would have described as average, if they weren't so beaten and bloody when I saw them.

"Did you fall off a cliff or something?"

He turned his swollen face towards me before he bit back a chuckle.

"I got into a fight with some guys that were trying to sell me potions for double the price. Those suckers went running."

"Yeah, sure. Whatever you say."

I bet his face went into something along the lines of a frown, but the swelling made it impossible to tell.

"It's true! I took them on with my top pokémon, Geodude!"

Now, this is where I almost burst out laughing. If you're anything like me, you know that Geodude isn't exactly the 'top pokémon' of the food chain. The boy glared at me intensely.

"I bet I could take on any pokémon you send out at me in a fight!"

"Is that a challenge?"

He came right up to my face, "Yeah. Are you scared?"

"I'm not scared of someone four inches shorter than me."

"You're going to regret that!"

The Pokémon Center had a small, outdoor arena behind it. It was a good thing both of us only had one small pokémon on us each, because anything larger would have destroyed it in seconds.

"This is what you get for calling me short!"

He sent out Geodude in a bright flash of light. The rock pokémon looked ready to fight. It could have taken on a few people, I guess, but there was no way it could have beaten up several cash-greedy dudes.

"Oasis, let's show this joker what we're made of!"

The pond skater de-latched from my head and stared down her opponent.

"Geodude, use rock throw!"

Oasis let out a small screech as she barely dodged the falling rock.

"Alright, Oasis, use bubble!"

Small, shiny bubbles emerged from her mouth. Geodude tried to avoid them, but Oasis kept up her attack until Geodude couldn't evade. The rock type tried to shake of what did hit, but it was super effective.

"Don't let that stop you! Try tackle!"

Geodude crashed into Oasis. So much dust got kicked up; neither of us could see anything. When it did clear, Oasis was happily attached to the head of a rather confused geodude.

I had to smile at that.

"Use sweet scent!"

A lovely, honey-like smell spread over the field. I breathed in the relaxing scent, when I noticed something a bit off.

It smelled a bit too much like cinnamon. Almost spicy.

"Geodude, what is wrong with you?"

I turned my attention back to the field. Geodude was wobbling all over the place.

"Come on, Geodude! Shake that surskit off and use tackle again!"

Eventually, it did shake Oasis off, but instead off tackling her, it rammed into the side of the Pokémon Center and knocked itself out.

"NO!"

The boy ran over to his unconscious partner.

"Come on, buddy, wake up!"

Oasis skittered over to me and latched onto my right arm. She was quite happy to have been the last one standing.

"You!"

The boy marched over to me, one hand cradling his Geodude and the other pointing an accusatory finger at me.

"You didn't actually win, got that? Geodude knocked himself out because your pokémon's sweet scent was too strong!"

"Are you always like this?"

He took a step back and lowered his hand, "What do you mean?"

"Do you always try to find another factor to explain why you lose?"

"I didn't lose, your little pond skater-"

"My 'little pond skater' performed a move that led to your Geodude's unconscious state and inability to fight for a period of time. That is basically the definition of winning a pokémon battle. Sure, it might not be based solely on strength alone, but that is only one thing that leads to victory."

"Doesn't winning mean you're stronger than the other person," he partially sneered, "or is that just a rumour."

"Being strong doesn't necessarily mean you have a sure win. If someone is faster, smarter, or more experienced than you, can you really expect to win?"

I turned towards the Pokémon Center, "Look, I bet you're a good guy. But you have to know every way you could lose before you can win."

His mouth just hung open when I walked away.

Was I happy that I won my first battle against another trainer? Absolutely.

Was I happy to see him so upset when I looked back over my shoulder?

…Not so much.

**So… shall I continue with the story, or send it to the scrap pile?**


End file.
